How to Successfully Make 9th Step Amends

For example, if you neglected or mistreated your children while you were using alcohol, a simple apology may not repair the damage. Instead, you may need to engage in a dialogue with them over time. This may involve attending family therapy or individual therapy. You will need to demonstrate that you are committed to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with them. How you start these conversations depends on your relationship with the person you harmed and the circumstances in which you plan to make direct amends.

Some people will be easier than others to approach due to the relationship you have with them, how close you live to them, or other factors. In some situations, attempting to make amends may cause more harm than good. Such situations may allow for partial restitution only. And in some cases, you may not be able to make direct amends at all. However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work. One very effective way to make amends is to go to treatment.

Steps for Making Living Amends

Please read our success stories below, or contact our team today to talk to some of our experts. That is just one small example of what are living amends. Part of my living amends is also being the friend my friends deserve and the employee my employers hired in good faith. Living amends touches deep parts of our lives and souls if we allow them. One such story considers what we consume and how much harder (and expensive) it is to procure it.

Unfortunately, after you get sober, all the hurt and destruction you caused in the wake of your addiction doesn’t just go away. You have to put in living amends the work to repair the damage and heal those relationships. To make amends, you must do more than just make apologies for your past behavior.

What Do You Say When Making Amends? – The Step 9 Amends Letter

When making direct amends, it is usually best to do so after a sustained period of sobriety and while in a calm state of mind. Making direct amends means actively confronting your behavior with the person who you harmed. Many people begin making amends as soon as they join AA. In some cases, simply opening up a conversation with a friend or family member about your history of alcohol use can begin the process of making amends.